A slow painful death

TodayI looked into my mother's sad gazeAs she watched me try on clothes.Her voice soft,She stated how much weight I have lost. Silence. She questions,It's from being in marching band rightAs ifTo convince herself."Yeah" But the silence that followsAlong with the look in her eyesTells a storyOf a different, shared, truth. 9/25/17

On the bad nights

Have you everCried so hard it hurts to breathe?The sharp intakes of airBurn your lungsBut you wish you had the strength to choke on it. Raw pain. Gripping the covers hard enough you hope you will pass out.Screams.Pain trapped deep within your heart and mind.I want nothing more.I want.Nothing more. 08/30/17


We do not love.We lust. A normal feeling among humans.Yet we give way to possibility. We have titles.We have emotions we play upon.Maybe its more than lustBut we know the truth.We will pretendAs our lips meetThat there is more. I am sadThere isnt more. 08/09/17


We kissedUnder the stage lightsWith the most beautiful music. A stranger,You are and forever will be. Your lips were softAnd your face was sweaty. We danced together for hours.My hips swaying against yours.Your arms wrapped around me tightly, As if to never let go. Even for just a little while,It was as if we had known each other forever.I put my hand over yoursAs we swayed in time.Your head resting on my shoulder.  We do not love each other.But in that moment it was as if we could. I will ne

Happy Birthday

Today,Is my birthday.I feel like i should be very happy.But for some reasonI cant find it. In the gifts, the texts, the facebook posts.In the extra make-up i put on todayOr the nice dress and heels.Not evenIn my favorite dance music. Something is missing.But i cant find the piece.  6/30/17